We decided to freak out yesterday evening, me and M. I took her to one our favorite restaurants. The qualifier being good food, music, and not much traffic around us. It was a long time since we went out alone, so we were pretty engrossed with our careless whispers about the past and the future (the usual romantics) when three people occupied the table behind us.
Now we wouldnt care about who sat behind or ahead of us but for what happened next. These two gentlemen and the lady ordered their drinks and started their conversation. It was mostly goofy gyaan being bounced back and forth about the plight of the indian farmers, and the poor quality of seeds they buy and the loans that the banks give them(or perhaps dont). Their volume was directly proportional to the number of pegs that were guzzled, so I deduced that gentleman 1 to be the President of World Bank, Gentleman 2 should be the chairman of NABARD and the lady should be the head of FCI. half an hour later another lady whom I presumed must be the Research Head of Monsanto joined in making the gyaan ball bounce faster than ever.
When their volume was kind of getting into our conversation, I decided to do something about it. was a couple of pegs down (thats another story, will tell later) myself. Normally i would ahem...politely get up and ask them if they mind talking in slower tones than getting worked up on the DNA structure of a reused rice seed in Chattisgarh, but given my situation, i was in a more naughty mood.
I remembered that there was a built in remote in my swank little mobile M had presented to me on our
anniversaty. Decided to use it for the first time on the TV that was playing just in front of this educated crowd. Strange how a couple of RCs can jog your memory,isnt it. They were playing some part of the hockey world cup ( I bet india would have lost out, dint bother to check it out anyways). On the press of a button the channel changed, and no one noticed. I shot a couple of discreet galnces to check if someone noticed. This lady near the buffet was piling up her plate with the dessert. God was that her hand or a conveyor belt? Another man was looking at the biriyani unable to decide whether to load it or not.
well, anyways, my crime was unnoticed. And i decided to carry on with my experiment, happy that i had something pretty useful as that in my cell.
The sexist freak that I am, i changed the channel to FTV, and well, just the luck for the jolly odd crowd behind me, they were showing someones summer collection of lingerie, or was it swin wear? Hell, i never could differentiate between both of them anyways. in nutshell, we could see lot of tall white meat walking about the ramp with a couple of kerchiefs loosely nailed to them. Reaction: the men shut up immediately. (See what i mean, i am not the only pervert out there) and the ladies were aghast. Such a decent hotel!! they would be thinking. i guess a good half a minute must have past for them to sink it in that they were watching something that puberts do in the darkness of the night at home when parents are asleep. (Its a free world, man). And then one of the ladies (who i thought would faint of the embarassment) shouted for the waiter, who came running expecting an order for a repeat.
The poor chap was scroned upon and asked to change the channel immediately. My mood was anyways naughty, so the minute the guy turned to change the channel i called him. He had to attend to me, giving the gang behind somemore time to enjoy nature's beauty. I asked for the cheque, and this guy went back to change the channel. I pressed the power off button on the remote and it switched off the exact same moment the guy touched the TV. must have been pretty disturbing for him, considering that he had the real remote in his apron pocket.
Anyways, after this incident the presidents and chairpersons were relatively quiet and how much ever they tried, they could not get back the enthu of the talk. Thats what happens when you remind the average human male of curves and figures. So i signed the cheque and walked out after sometime feeling like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2. :))
Now we wouldnt care about who sat behind or ahead of us but for what happened next. These two gentlemen and the lady ordered their drinks and started their conversation. It was mostly goofy gyaan being bounced back and forth about the plight of the indian farmers, and the poor quality of seeds they buy and the loans that the banks give them(or perhaps dont). Their volume was directly proportional to the number of pegs that were guzzled, so I deduced that gentleman 1 to be the President of World Bank, Gentleman 2 should be the chairman of NABARD and the lady should be the head of FCI. half an hour later another lady whom I presumed must be the Research Head of Monsanto joined in making the gyaan ball bounce faster than ever.
When their volume was kind of getting into our conversation, I decided to do something about it. was a couple of pegs down (thats another story, will tell later) myself. Normally i would ahem...politely get up and ask them if they mind talking in slower tones than getting worked up on the DNA structure of a reused rice seed in Chattisgarh, but given my situation, i was in a more naughty mood.
I remembered that there was a built in remote in my swank little mobile M had presented to me on our
anniversaty. Decided to use it for the first time on the TV that was playing just in front of this educated crowd. Strange how a couple of RCs can jog your memory,isnt it. They were playing some part of the hockey world cup ( I bet india would have lost out, dint bother to check it out anyways). On the press of a button the channel changed, and no one noticed. I shot a couple of discreet galnces to check if someone noticed. This lady near the buffet was piling up her plate with the dessert. God was that her hand or a conveyor belt? Another man was looking at the biriyani unable to decide whether to load it or not.
well, anyways, my crime was unnoticed. And i decided to carry on with my experiment, happy that i had something pretty useful as that in my cell.
The sexist freak that I am, i changed the channel to FTV, and well, just the luck for the jolly odd crowd behind me, they were showing someones summer collection of lingerie, or was it swin wear? Hell, i never could differentiate between both of them anyways. in nutshell, we could see lot of tall white meat walking about the ramp with a couple of kerchiefs loosely nailed to them. Reaction: the men shut up immediately. (See what i mean, i am not the only pervert out there) and the ladies were aghast. Such a decent hotel!! they would be thinking. i guess a good half a minute must have past for them to sink it in that they were watching something that puberts do in the darkness of the night at home when parents are asleep. (Its a free world, man). And then one of the ladies (who i thought would faint of the embarassment) shouted for the waiter, who came running expecting an order for a repeat.
The poor chap was scroned upon and asked to change the channel immediately. My mood was anyways naughty, so the minute the guy turned to change the channel i called him. He had to attend to me, giving the gang behind somemore time to enjoy nature's beauty. I asked for the cheque, and this guy went back to change the channel. I pressed the power off button on the remote and it switched off the exact same moment the guy touched the TV. must have been pretty disturbing for him, considering that he had the real remote in his apron pocket.
Anyways, after this incident the presidents and chairpersons were relatively quiet and how much ever they tried, they could not get back the enthu of the talk. Thats what happens when you remind the average human male of curves and figures. So i signed the cheque and walked out after sometime feeling like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill 2. :))
posted by Appu at 2:18 PM
3 Comments:
Haha, thoroughly enjoyed the post. What a good use of the modern day gizmos?
And your lines, 'was it her hand or conveyor belt', totally cracked me up.
Hope to read more of posts like this.
Could you please increase the font size a bit as well?
green satya, thanks , they will keep coming. i promised myself to look at my daily life in a comical way.
Will increase the font size from next post.
well that should have been real fun....... Thanks for the great idea would use it next time to pull a gag.
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